


This Isn't a Romantic Comedy

by RainbowArches



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2547803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowArches/pseuds/RainbowArches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>May is not fond of Bobbi and Hunter's banter in the field.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't a Romantic Comedy

“You can’t send Bobbi and Hunter on any more missions together.”  
Phil met Melinda’s glare with constructed unconcern. “They got the job done like they were supposed to. They’re professionals.”  
“They’re children. One of these days their stupid ex banter is going to get someone killed.”  
Phil went back to sorting paperwork that didn’t need sorting. Melinda hated how he pretended to be busy to hide discomfort or restlessness. An episode must be due soon. “They’re not the type to get distracted. As long as they don’t get out of hand, I don’t have a problem with it.”  
“I have a problem with it as long as you keep sending me to babysit them! Either they shut up and deal with the fact that they have to work together, or don’t let them work together at all.”  
“How are they going to learn to cooperate if I never send them on missions together?”  
“There’s plenty of work for them to do here. There’s a time and a place, Phil. The time and place for petty fighting with your ex is not in the field. They’re so focused on each other; eventually someone less experienced is going to get hurt on a mission with them because they’ll have forgotten they weren’t alone.”  
Phil smiled. The I’m-going-to-make-a-joke-that’s-only-funny-to-me smile. “I always thought the audience was what did it for them.”  
Melinda looked unimpressed.  
Phil tried another tactic. “Remember our second mission as a team. No one got along, but that didn’t stop you from pulling together and saving the day.”  
“That was different. We didn’t know each other. We didn’t have a history of emotional abuse and weird sex with each other to distract us from the plane falling from the sky. And when the time came to cooperate, we stopped arguing and focused on the task at hand. That’s not what happens when Bobbi and Hunter are in the field together. Their history takes the forefront; the mission is just background noise.”  
Phil’s eyes flicked to the ground. Melinda could tell he was running out of arguments. “They’re talented enough to-“  
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. The mission is always our first priority. Getting everyone out safe is always our top concern. Don’t you dare say otherwise just because you get a laugh out of their banter. It’ll bite you in the ass one day.”  
Phil sighed, defeated. “Fine. I’ll keep them on separate missions until they get their act together.”  
“Thank you. I get what you were trying to do, but they’re grown-ups. They’re trained agents who have plenty field experience. They should know better.”  
“You’re right.”  
Melinda smiled gratefully and went to the shooting range, then promptly left again because Hunter and Bobbi were there, kissing like teenagers.  
She wasn’t sure if this meant they’d solved their problems like adults, or if they were all dead for sure.  
“I’m going with dead for sure.”


End file.
